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Day 10 – Love is Unconditional January 28, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Reflection, Unconditional Love.
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The world has become a place of endless boundaries and conditions.  I will only do my best if I am receiving recognition. We will not help her with her project unless she makes the phone call to you know who. He is not allowed at our house unless he spends more time with his wife. I am not going to marry him unless he buys me that 3 carat ring – from Tiffanys. The list goes on and on and on and on.  Just like a Duracell battery.

My point is that we base our love on conditions also known as cause and effect.  Because he brought in the groceries, I will cook him dinner. This is not the type of love that God feels for His children – the agape love which is mentioned throughout the Bible.  It is a self-sacrificing and unconditional love based on feelings and not attributes.  To love your spouse for the things that they do, for how they look and for where they work are all superficial reasons.  I know you are thinking, “Well, I ain’t loving nobody that doesn’t bring anything to the table.” It is this thinking that corrupts so many relationships. Not saying that anyone should carry 100% of the relationship, just suggesting that you love in the same fashion as God loves you.  He asked for nothing in return except we give our hearts to Him.  When we do this, we in turn will have no other choice but to extend ourselves to one another in an unconditional loving fashion.

If her looks fade and the grey hair begins to show around the outer edges, it won’t matter because the love that you feel for her is in your heart.  If he is no longer able to climb on the roof and do the yearly repairs, your love for him will not deteriorate. Your daughter is unable to contribute to the household funds because she has lost her executive position at a major 500 company, you will not turn your back on her, your love is not attached to material things. If you find yourself falling out of love, then maybe you didn’t really have that committed love in the first place.  Love establishes a solid foundation, and it is this foundation that holds your relationship in place when the levees of the world are crumbling down.

A few critical thoughts:
God does not make us prove our love to him. God’s love must be allowed to grow within you. Unconditional love is not determined by the one being loved but the one choosing to love!

Biblical Verse(s):
Romans 5:8 – but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
I John 4:10 – This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Corinthians 13:7 – It [love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Resources: The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick
Featured Bloggist: A Safe Relationship by Harry L. “Justin” Kirk

Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse—something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else.

Q: If you removed all the conditions that keep you bound in your relationships, what would that relationship look like?

Have a blessed day, I love you!


Reflections of Love – Where is the Party? January 23, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Kindness, love, Patience, Relection, Rudeness, Selfishness, Thoughtfulness.
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Made it through five days of daring to love.  At first I wasn’t going to blog today, as it is Saturday, but then I realized that love does not take the weekend off – so neither shall I.  Instead of doing a day six, I decided to use the weekend as a period to reflect on the lessons of the week. 

Let me do a commercial break real quick:  I watched the Matrix today, and I just need to say this – I so don’t get it.  Lots of kung fu type fighting, heavy erotic scenes and people disappearing through brick walls. And the Oracle? If anyone understands this movie and I did watch all three, please just help a sista out. At the end of the trilogy, all I could muster was –  WTH.  I also watched Lovely Bones and it was simply awesome.  I have only cried twice while watching a movie, “Beaches,” (I have a best friend since six and I can not imagine my life without her), and “Imitation of Life,” (I understand the heart-breaking love of a mother trying to teach her daughter to just love herself). 

Break over:  So what did we learn about love this week and how did we do on the challenges? I’ve collected some words of wisdom and inspiration from my fellow bloggers.  Some of you guys never told us how you did on each challenge, please feel free to blog this weekend as I am very interested in your experiences!

Love is Patient:
Relationships are a partnership. And I don’t always mind not getting my way when I see that trying things my partner’s way will make him happy and feel supported. But its a two-way street. “Denene”

Love Shows Kindness:
When dealing with all my relationship I put kindness out in front. Hey, sometime it’s difficult. People will take you there but I’m responsible for my actions. “Darentiz

Love is not Selfish:
Whenever someone appreciates you , pls say thank you because they are not only admiring you but also admiring your creator. “Shawn”

Love is Thoughtful:
I will make it my duty to be more attentive to the things that people want to do for me in my life. “Cat”

Love is not Rude:
It really makes us as parents stop and think about how our children see us….We are suppose to set good examples for them… “Cynthia”

Please keep loving with me and remember that if we just Dare to Love each and everyone whom we come in contact with, oh what a mighty day.  Each of us is capable of challenging ourselves to a higher level of being.  The kind acts that that you do every day, no matter how small, will in fact, affect someone.  So, please never stop loving.  Until next week, I love you with all of my heart and soul!

Have an awesome weekend!

Day Three – Love is not Selfish January 20, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in love, Selfishness.
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Feeling very blah blah today, and thought about just hiding underneath the covers and having a big old pity party with myself as the guest of honor.  Then realized that if I did that, I would miss blogging today and therefore self-renig on my commitment to see this 40-Day challenge to the end.  Didn’t get any comments on day 2, so I was thinking no one really cares, but then discovered that I’ve received positive feedback via email and the blog counter is increasing, so folks out there are reading and responding in their own fashion, so here I sit blogging.

Not too long ago, I was the selfish, inconsiderate, all about me person in just about all of my relationships.  I’ve had husbands and partners who loved me unconditionally; however, I was too busy loving my own thinking that I could not, no — would not see their point of view.  As the book indicates, selfishness is the opposite of love, it is a trait that we all have and express in one way or the other.  Even if we do good acts just to manipulate our spouses or mates, it is still an act of selfishness.  It is not done out of love, but out of the desire to get what we want!

A few critical thoughts:
Selfishness is a trait. True love looks for ways to say “yes.”  Self-less-ness means sacrificing our own rights in order to please others. Whatever you put your time, money and energy into will become more important to you.

Biblical Verse(s):
Philippians 2:3 – Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
James 3:16 – For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.

Buy something that says “I was thinking of you” today.

Q: Are you self-centered or are you the first one to demonstrate selfless acts of love?

Have a blessed day, I love you!

Day Two – Love Shows Kindness January 19, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Kindness, Patience.
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How often are we just mean and don’t really take each others feelings into consideration.  We say things that we should not say and do things that we simply know are not out of love?  If I am honest, I can admit it is more than it should be.  I was recently hospitalized for a few days due to surgery.  Initially I was very scared and almost canceled the surgery because I felt that I was alone.  However, when you have God in your life, you are never alone.  He is a provider in the midnight hour, and He never sleeps.  So, my prayer partner met me at the hospital.  She took off a day after being off for two-weeks to sit and talk and pray and dance and laugh and just be – just be with me.  This was an act of kindness.  She had nothing to gain.  Out of her love for me, it sparked her to act in a kindly manner.  I didn’t realize how many branches my tree has until I came out of surgery.  My mother, daughters, cousins and friends showed up and allowed God to show out in my life.  People have been sweeping in and out to assist in my recovery and although I am “single” I still do have a multitude of healthy relationships.  I recognize that the Higher Being has to be a part of every single task that I perform in life.  If I let go and let God, He will direct my path and hold my hand.  Are there instances where you did not act in a kind manner, when it would have cost you nothing?  How about a time when you acted out of kindness and yet felt it go unnoticed?  That does happen too…

A few critical thoughts:
Kindness is how love acts. Kindness creates a blessing.  When you are kind, people want to be around you. Kindness is gentle (be careful how you treat folks), helpful (when a husband steps up to assist his wife without being asked), willing (listening first), and finally kindness takes initiative (greeting first, forgiving first, taking the first step) in order to demonstrate love.

Biblical Verse(s):
Proverbs 3:3-4

Say nothing negative and do one act of kindness today.

Q: How harsh are you – honestly, and more importantly what are you going to do about it???

Have a blessed day, I love you!