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Day Seven – Love Believes the Best January 26, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in love.
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5 comments

You may as well get your non-fat mocha latte, or your black with only sugar coffee, or your diet coke, or bottled water cause I got a lot to say on this subject…

I need to know – is there a room in your house that is locked and you only visit it during times of pressure, depression, frustration and/or confrontation?  The room that you sneak off to when you don’t think anyone is looking.  You know what I’m talking about, the room of under-appreciation.  When things simply are not going your way in the relationship, you hide-away in this room where you have written awful things about the people who you love.  In this room you reflect on what an awful husband you have because he does not appreciate you.  You are able to sit in your high and mighty chair and review the many failures of your wife.  Here in this comfortable place you are able to clearly see the weaknesses of all of your friends.  Now you know the room that I am referencing, sure you do – we all have one that we retreat to during times of turmoil, heartache and hurt.

Maybe it is time that we relabeled and remodeled that room.  Pull down those drab curtains and put up some new mini-blinds in an extra bright color to match the sun.  Lets call this the appreciation room – where we spend time remembering and cultivating only positive thoughts about people whom we are sharing relationships. When your mate does hateful things, instead of retaliating with harmful words, show them love.  Don’t allow their bitterness to overtake the love that you know they share for you – even if they are not exhibiting it at that time.  It is emotional fallout that destroys relationships and consequently ends marriages.  After years of being together, this is not how you really want the relationship to end, therefore, you must sit in this room when things are a bit rocky on the outside.

Realize that we all fail at some point and that it is not love when we devalue those that we love. It is only our selfish pride that insists we are not at fault and that everything we do is good, honest and upstanding. Don’t be a hypocrite and say you love a person, but then rush to the “depreciation room” every time you are confronted with a negative situation and then bad mouth your spouse.  No one is perfect except God!  Today you can start thinking differently about how you show respect for your spouse.  Choose today to not put all of your relationships under a microscope and pick out only the negative aspects.  Love can believe the best all that it wants, it is up to you to put those words into action!

A few critical thoughts:
Love focuses on the positive.  You are able to reign in your negative thoughts and to let love lead those thoughts.  If you visit the depreciation room – write the word love on its wall. Meditate on positive thoughts.

Biblical Verse(s):
I Corinthians 13:7 – Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Resources: The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick

Challenge:
For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet.


Q: How do you cope with people in your relationships who continue to downplay their own negative behavior?  Are you this person and if so, what can you do differently now that you know better?

Have a blessed day, I love you!
Dawn

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Jack and Jill From my Perspective… January 24, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in love, Reflection.
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4 comments

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.  It is amazing how a simple grammar school rhyme can have such an eloquently hidden message.  If only the true meaning associated with Jack and Jill was discovered during adolescence. This is a rhyme about relationships…

No matter if you replace Jack with Jennifer or Jill with John, or leave as is – the message is still the same.  When one partner falls in a relationship, the other is sure to follow.  How did I get that from such a simple school yard chant? Let us analyze this together.

The two are a couple in a relationship of some sort and they start off together, thus Jack and Jill went. The hill is synonymous for everyday life occurences – bills, the kids, the job, in-laws and the list goes on, up a hill.  They are doing what it takes to keep up their household, to fetch a pail of water. One person in the relationship looses their balance – laid off, sickness, family crisis, and such, Jack fell down.  Whatever the material thing that was in his possession is now lost, destroyed, fractured and/or broken, and broke his crown. During this time of crisis, the partner that was following closely also is caught up in the landslide, and finally, and Jill came tumbling afterwards

Whatever happened to the happy couple that started up the hill of life together, merrily swinging their pail?  Did they get up and brush themselves off and regroup to head back up that hill to successfully get that water?  Is Jack still in search of his broken crown and thus had to abandon his relationship?  Maybe Jill climbed that hill by herself only to discover that no water even existed at the top.

I want to believe that Jack and Jill landed at the bottom and realized that they forgot to take the Holy Spirit with them on their journey.  They landed at the bottom on their knees and together they prayed for the right foot holes to make it back to the top of that hill.  They tossed the Bible in the pail so that when they were weak, they could read about how He is a provider during the midnight.  I want to believe that the couple made it back up that hill and once at the top they witnessed another who had also traveled the steep hillside.  There was Boo Peep helping Jesus attend his sheep for she too had some challenges in which she overcame.

I found a Jack and a couple of Jills’ who concurred to the testimony of love during our first five days of the Dare to Love Challenge.

Love is Patient:
Relationships only work and have longevity when one becomes disciplined and mature enough to take SELF out of the center. “Patrick”

Love Shows Kindness:
Sometimes the very people who are not kind to us, are the very people that we need to release from our inner circle. “Poetiscian”

Love is not Selfish:
I was being selfish to my own dreams…As woman we sometimes fail to see how much we sacrifice ourselves for many things. “California”

Love is Thoughtful:
I’ve resolved to say If someone can’t treat you right,love you back, and see your worth LET IT GO. “Walking on Faith”

Love is not Rude:
I really enjoy reading your words of wisdom and encouragement. “Shae”

I hope you are enjoying a very blessed Sunday and that you are keeping our Lord constant in all that you do and say!  I look forward to blogging with you tomorrow as we continue our 40-Day Challenge by Daring to Love.

I love You (unconditionally).
Dawn

Reflections of Love – Where is the Party? January 23, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Kindness, love, Patience, Relection, Rudeness, Selfishness, Thoughtfulness.
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2 comments

Made it through five days of daring to love.  At first I wasn’t going to blog today, as it is Saturday, but then I realized that love does not take the weekend off – so neither shall I.  Instead of doing a day six, I decided to use the weekend as a period to reflect on the lessons of the week. 

Let me do a commercial break real quick:  I watched the Matrix today, and I just need to say this – I so don’t get it.  Lots of kung fu type fighting, heavy erotic scenes and people disappearing through brick walls. And the Oracle? If anyone understands this movie and I did watch all three, please just help a sista out. At the end of the trilogy, all I could muster was –  WTH.  I also watched Lovely Bones and it was simply awesome.  I have only cried twice while watching a movie, “Beaches,” (I have a best friend since six and I can not imagine my life without her), and “Imitation of Life,” (I understand the heart-breaking love of a mother trying to teach her daughter to just love herself). 

Break over:  So what did we learn about love this week and how did we do on the challenges? I’ve collected some words of wisdom and inspiration from my fellow bloggers.  Some of you guys never told us how you did on each challenge, please feel free to blog this weekend as I am very interested in your experiences!

Love is Patient:
Relationships are a partnership. And I don’t always mind not getting my way when I see that trying things my partner’s way will make him happy and feel supported. But its a two-way street. “Denene”

Love Shows Kindness:
When dealing with all my relationship I put kindness out in front. Hey, sometime it’s difficult. People will take you there but I’m responsible for my actions. “Darentiz

Love is not Selfish:
Whenever someone appreciates you , pls say thank you because they are not only admiring you but also admiring your creator. “Shawn”

Love is Thoughtful:
I will make it my duty to be more attentive to the things that people want to do for me in my life. “Cat”

Love is not Rude:
It really makes us as parents stop and think about how our children see us….We are suppose to set good examples for them… “Cynthia”

Please keep loving with me and remember that if we just Dare to Love each and everyone whom we come in contact with, oh what a mighty day.  Each of us is capable of challenging ourselves to a higher level of being.  The kind acts that that you do every day, no matter how small, will in fact, affect someone.  So, please never stop loving.  Until next week, I love you with all of my heart and soul!

Have an awesome weekend!
Dawn

Day Two – Love Shows Kindness January 19, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Kindness, Patience.
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2 comments

How often are we just mean and don’t really take each others feelings into consideration.  We say things that we should not say and do things that we simply know are not out of love?  If I am honest, I can admit it is more than it should be.  I was recently hospitalized for a few days due to surgery.  Initially I was very scared and almost canceled the surgery because I felt that I was alone.  However, when you have God in your life, you are never alone.  He is a provider in the midnight hour, and He never sleeps.  So, my prayer partner met me at the hospital.  She took off a day after being off for two-weeks to sit and talk and pray and dance and laugh and just be – just be with me.  This was an act of kindness.  She had nothing to gain.  Out of her love for me, it sparked her to act in a kindly manner.  I didn’t realize how many branches my tree has until I came out of surgery.  My mother, daughters, cousins and friends showed up and allowed God to show out in my life.  People have been sweeping in and out to assist in my recovery and although I am “single” I still do have a multitude of healthy relationships.  I recognize that the Higher Being has to be a part of every single task that I perform in life.  If I let go and let God, He will direct my path and hold my hand.  Are there instances where you did not act in a kind manner, when it would have cost you nothing?  How about a time when you acted out of kindness and yet felt it go unnoticed?  That does happen too…

A few critical thoughts:
Kindness is how love acts. Kindness creates a blessing.  When you are kind, people want to be around you. Kindness is gentle (be careful how you treat folks), helpful (when a husband steps up to assist his wife without being asked), willing (listening first), and finally kindness takes initiative (greeting first, forgiving first, taking the first step) in order to demonstrate love.

Biblical Verse(s):
Proverbs 3:3-4

Challenge:
Say nothing negative and do one act of kindness today.


Q: How harsh are you – honestly, and more importantly what are you going to do about it???

Have a blessed day, I love you!
Dawn