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Day 22 – Love is Faithful May 19, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in love, Reflection.
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Be ever so faithfulA (*) friend encouraged me to re-saddle my love horse, so here I am! When our love is rejected, we as humans find it very challenging to keep moving forward in the direction of love.  In order to keep loving the person and/or people who have actively voiced their rejection of our love, takes a love greater than ourselves. We as Christians are supposed to love as God has loved us – no matter what. Now, I do realize that is very hard, and darn near impossible, especially if you are not able to see any light at the end of the love tunnel. However, I pose this to you, remain faithful in your pursuit of love for the partner who has abandoned your love. How you say? Just as God continues to love us through our collage of spiritual mishaps, our unyielding anger towards each other, our daily inability to just offer Him thanks for once again, pulling us from the jaws of death. He gives us underserved love and it is our responsibility to pass it on.

The Bible speaks of Hosea, who married a prostitute named Gomer, and she in turn after many years, returned to the profession that she knew best – lusting after other men.  Now who in the world would expect Hosea to return to this woman? No one would, but God did – He told Hosea to offer her redemption and take her back. (read full story) That is a lesson within itself, for God has redeemed us many times, so who are we not to reach out and offer that same redemption.

If your spouse has gone astray, stop looking outward and begin the soul-searching journey within yourself first.  Seek God for understanding and then pray. Out of love grows faith.  Be faithful in your pursuit for the love of God and your fellow-man. There is power in faithfulness that is immeasurable to anything that the world has to offer. Faith keeps you grounded when it appears that your very foundation is crumbling beneath your feet. Be like Hosea – go and rescue the one whom you’ve confessed to love forever, forgive them for their past transgressions and work on re-building a solid relationship built on faith, patience, integrity and unconditional love. Where would most of us be if God left us on the selling block to be auctioned off to the devil.  I am sure you don’t want to really know the answer.  Go in peace…

A few critical thoughts: God still loves us after rejection. Love is our basis. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you. God gave undeserved love to you.

Biblical Verse(s):
John 3:16 – For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.
Luke 10:27 – He answered, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind. And you must love your neighbor as yourself.”

Resources: The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick
Online Resources: True to be You by Harry L. Kirk

Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it.  Say to them today in words similar to these, “i love you.  Period.  I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.”

Q: How hard is it for you to tell your spouse that you love them, even when your words appear to fall on deaf ears?

Have a blessed day, I love you!

*** “Thank you Carol, also known lovingly as CeeCee Entertainment”


Day Eight – Love isn’t Jealous January 27, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Jealousy, love.
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Sing with me…

Oh, I don’t wanna share you with
nothing else–I gotta have you to myself
Oh–I can’t help it–I’m so in love–
I just can’t get you close enough, no

When the sun’s on your skin–
I can’t hold it in

And I know it’s a sin–
but I’m jealous of the sun

As I sway back and forth to this Shania Twain song, “I’m Jealous” and attempt to recite these lyrics (see I am vocally challenged), I think about situations where many of us find ourselves in, due to our jealous nature.  I must confess that in those moments, I really don’t realize that I am acting out of jealousy.  Maybe because the behavior has just become so second nature. I’m not speaking about acts of jealousy that are sparked due to someone attempting to steal or covet our partner’s heart.  It is fair to say that you have a justifiable right to be angry if someone is seeking the attention of your better half.  This is the same type of jealousy that is experienced by God when we as His children do not recognize Him as our first priority.  For He is a jealous God who loves us deeply.  No, this is not the type of jealousy that I am referencing.

I am speaking of what the book illustrates as an envious type of jealousy.  The feelings that are expressed when a co-worker is promoted ahead of you.  Instead of being happy for them, for they deserved it just as much as you did – you’re a little sore about it and may even complain of the “non-evidence” unfairness of the promotion.  Jealousy erupts when we believe that we have been upstaged in some sort of way and that only leads to selfish behaviors.  It is quite easy to get caught up in acts of jealousy if we loose sight of what is really important in our lives.  Being envious of others when we don’t get what we want sets up poison within our relationships.  We plot, plan and devise schemes to get back at the people who we feel have wronged us.  This most certainly in not love, for love teaches humility and is born in the heart.  If we are not very, very careful, jealousy can lead to serious actions that have long-lasting repercussions such as murder (the death of Cain), abandonment (Joseph being sold away by his brothers), and death (crucifixion of Jesus).

We should never be jealous of anyone, and especially those who we hold near and dear in our relationships.  When they are successful, we are to lift them up and join in their celebration.  It is wise to realize that jealous acts in our relationships are like poisonous vipers!

A few critical thoughts:
Become your spouses biggest cheerleader.  Love puts others first.  Love completes not competes.  Jealousy of others is rooted in selfishness.

Biblical Verse(s):
Song of Solomon 8:6 – Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame.
James 3:16 – For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.
Proverbs 27:4 – Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?

Resources: The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick
Online Resources: How to Overcome Jealousy in a Relationship by Ron Zvagelsky

Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy.

Q: Is it hard not to be jealous of those who are doing so much better than you?

Have a blessed day, I love you!


Day Six – Love is not Irritable January 25, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Irritability, love.
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Oh how many times within a given day has just about everyone within your inner space just really pissed you off?  You’re already experiencing a bad day, and nobody is doing anything right.  It seems that you are carrying the burdens of the world, and nobody, and I do mean nobody understands just how much you do for everybody.  You are clearly frustrated, but just don’t know how to bring your mannerisms down a few notches.  You are walking around with the chip of irritation on your shoulder.

Stop, breathe, consult God and then re-focus.  It is important to remember that love is slow to show anger and quick to forgive.  When we are upset, expressing our emotions in a negative capacity will not help the situation.  You must exercise self-control all of the time and at all cost.  Flying off the handle because your partner has not lived up to your expectations isn’t showing love.  Neither is over reacting to minor problems just because you are on edge the way to show love.

Examine why you are irritable and you will find there is an explanation at the root of the problem(s).  First, there is stress.  Stress weighs you down and causes you to act in irrational ways.  It is tandem with bitterness.  Bitterness towards the ones you love may also cause you to be irritable.  And lastly, over extending yourself and taking on more responsibility than you can handle.  This is a sure cause for one to be irritable.  Within our relationships it is wise to figure out exactly why we are irritable with those whom we profess to love so much.  We can’t continue to justify our behavior by blaming others for the way we constantly react to situations.

Take some time today and just allow yourself to rest from all the pressures and stresses of the day.  Don’t be so quick to take your anger out on your mate, they should not be the punching bag for your emotions.  Be grateful for the companionship that you have, for the friends that surround you with love and the people who just smile at you for no reason at all.  Love teaches us to prioritize things in our lives, so that we are able to live fulfilling lives.  Simply, love responds to irritable situations with kindness and patience.  I realize that it can be very hard to forgive those who seem to have wronged us; however, that is only pride speaking and not love.  Stand up to irritable situations and people by demonstrating love.  The Higher Spirit is constantly loving us no matter what we do, so we must constantly love those around us – CONSTANTLY!

A few critical thoughts:
Bible teaches to let love guide.  Lust means being ungrateful for what you have.  Love calms you down.  Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Loving people exercise self-control.

Biblical Verse(s):
Proverbs 16:32 – He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
Matthew 12:24 – So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man.

Resources: The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick
Online References: Activating Energy by Beki Rosenthal

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Q: Do you over-react to situations?  You know – make a mountain out of a molehill?  Share some of your experiences so that we can become better life partners.

Have a blessed day, I love you!

Jack and Jill From my Perspective… January 24, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in love, Reflection.
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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.  It is amazing how a simple grammar school rhyme can have such an eloquently hidden message.  If only the true meaning associated with Jack and Jill was discovered during adolescence. This is a rhyme about relationships…

No matter if you replace Jack with Jennifer or Jill with John, or leave as is – the message is still the same.  When one partner falls in a relationship, the other is sure to follow.  How did I get that from such a simple school yard chant? Let us analyze this together.

The two are a couple in a relationship of some sort and they start off together, thus Jack and Jill went. The hill is synonymous for everyday life occurences – bills, the kids, the job, in-laws and the list goes on, up a hill.  They are doing what it takes to keep up their household, to fetch a pail of water. One person in the relationship looses their balance – laid off, sickness, family crisis, and such, Jack fell down.  Whatever the material thing that was in his possession is now lost, destroyed, fractured and/or broken, and broke his crown. During this time of crisis, the partner that was following closely also is caught up in the landslide, and finally, and Jill came tumbling afterwards

Whatever happened to the happy couple that started up the hill of life together, merrily swinging their pail?  Did they get up and brush themselves off and regroup to head back up that hill to successfully get that water?  Is Jack still in search of his broken crown and thus had to abandon his relationship?  Maybe Jill climbed that hill by herself only to discover that no water even existed at the top.

I want to believe that Jack and Jill landed at the bottom and realized that they forgot to take the Holy Spirit with them on their journey.  They landed at the bottom on their knees and together they prayed for the right foot holes to make it back to the top of that hill.  They tossed the Bible in the pail so that when they were weak, they could read about how He is a provider during the midnight.  I want to believe that the couple made it back up that hill and once at the top they witnessed another who had also traveled the steep hillside.  There was Boo Peep helping Jesus attend his sheep for she too had some challenges in which she overcame.

I found a Jack and a couple of Jills’ who concurred to the testimony of love during our first five days of the Dare to Love Challenge.

Love is Patient:
Relationships only work and have longevity when one becomes disciplined and mature enough to take SELF out of the center. “Patrick”

Love Shows Kindness:
Sometimes the very people who are not kind to us, are the very people that we need to release from our inner circle. “Poetiscian”

Love is not Selfish:
I was being selfish to my own dreams…As woman we sometimes fail to see how much we sacrifice ourselves for many things. “California”

Love is Thoughtful:
I’ve resolved to say If someone can’t treat you right,love you back, and see your worth LET IT GO. “Walking on Faith”

Love is not Rude:
I really enjoy reading your words of wisdom and encouragement. “Shae”

I hope you are enjoying a very blessed Sunday and that you are keeping our Lord constant in all that you do and say!  I look forward to blogging with you tomorrow as we continue our 40-Day Challenge by Daring to Love.

I love You (unconditionally).

Day Two – Love Shows Kindness January 19, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Kindness, Patience.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

How often are we just mean and don’t really take each others feelings into consideration.  We say things that we should not say and do things that we simply know are not out of love?  If I am honest, I can admit it is more than it should be.  I was recently hospitalized for a few days due to surgery.  Initially I was very scared and almost canceled the surgery because I felt that I was alone.  However, when you have God in your life, you are never alone.  He is a provider in the midnight hour, and He never sleeps.  So, my prayer partner met me at the hospital.  She took off a day after being off for two-weeks to sit and talk and pray and dance and laugh and just be – just be with me.  This was an act of kindness.  She had nothing to gain.  Out of her love for me, it sparked her to act in a kindly manner.  I didn’t realize how many branches my tree has until I came out of surgery.  My mother, daughters, cousins and friends showed up and allowed God to show out in my life.  People have been sweeping in and out to assist in my recovery and although I am “single” I still do have a multitude of healthy relationships.  I recognize that the Higher Being has to be a part of every single task that I perform in life.  If I let go and let God, He will direct my path and hold my hand.  Are there instances where you did not act in a kind manner, when it would have cost you nothing?  How about a time when you acted out of kindness and yet felt it go unnoticed?  That does happen too…

A few critical thoughts:
Kindness is how love acts. Kindness creates a blessing.  When you are kind, people want to be around you. Kindness is gentle (be careful how you treat folks), helpful (when a husband steps up to assist his wife without being asked), willing (listening first), and finally kindness takes initiative (greeting first, forgiving first, taking the first step) in order to demonstrate love.

Biblical Verse(s):
Proverbs 3:3-4

Say nothing negative and do one act of kindness today.

Q: How harsh are you – honestly, and more importantly what are you going to do about it???

Have a blessed day, I love you!