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Day 13 – Love Fights Fair February 4, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in love.
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Have you ever gotten sucker punched?  You know, thought the fight was over, and you were the victor.  You turn around to walk away from your opponent and pow-wow.  All of a sudden, you are down for the count because they have caught you in the midst of your victory dance.  Instinctively you jump back up ready for another shot at this chump.  You are seriously pissed at this point and nothing will hold you back from taking this person out – even if the person is your spouse.

Sometimes relationships are just anchored in turmoil and conflict.  Each person wants to get the upper hand and outsmart the other.  This type of conflict is inevitable whether it is a marriage, a civil union, a partnership, a living situation or family gathering.  At some point in every relationship there will come a time for real battle that include real tests.  Now, this is the perfect opportunity to allow love to take its proper place.  It is important to remember why you are in the relationship and to reiterate to yourself the purpose of you loving the person.

This does not mean that there will not be any conflict.  It is just about how you deal with the other person whom you are committed to loving.  It is suggested that you set up some boundaries to deal with the appending conflict.  Decide in the beginning how each one of you will respond to disagreements.  Such as, no cursing at one another, resolve never to become physical with one another, or to even go to be angry.  You can also set up your personal rules of engagement because you know yourself better than anyone else.  If you know that you have a violent temper, make it your business to use a different approach when dealing with conflict. God does not look for winners, He looks for achievers!

A few critical thoughts:
Work through your relationships.  Fight fairly and set rules of engagement. Love steps in and changes things. Love reminds you about the value of the marriage.

Biblical Verse(s):
Mark 3:25 – If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.
Proverbs 15:1 – A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Matthew 7:13 – You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.

Resources: The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick
Online Resources: How To Enrich Your Love Life With A Fair Fight via Selfhelp Magazine

Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

Q: What weapons do you use when fighting?

Have a blessed day, I love you!



1. Ressie - February 4, 2010

Dawn I couldnt agree with you more. I too, have used my mouth as a sword to cut hurt humiliate and demean and I too had to learn the lesson that words hurt worse than fists.

Dawn - February 6, 2010

Yes they do Ressie; however, this is behavior is not of God. Since I know you personally, I can add this – you also use your words to comfort. You have been my shoulder and my pillow since forever. You speak in truth, sometimes harshly, but always fairly. We learn and we grow for that is human.

Staying within God and thus staying with Love. Thank you for sharing.

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