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Day 10 – Love is Unconditional January 28, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Reflection, Unconditional Love.
Tags: , , ,

The world has become a place of endless boundaries and conditions.  I will only do my best if I am receiving recognition. We will not help her with her project unless she makes the phone call to you know who. He is not allowed at our house unless he spends more time with his wife. I am not going to marry him unless he buys me that 3 carat ring – from Tiffanys. The list goes on and on and on and on.  Just like a Duracell battery.

My point is that we base our love on conditions also known as cause and effect.  Because he brought in the groceries, I will cook him dinner. This is not the type of love that God feels for His children – the agape love which is mentioned throughout the Bible.  It is a self-sacrificing and unconditional love based on feelings and not attributes.  To love your spouse for the things that they do, for how they look and for where they work are all superficial reasons.  I know you are thinking, “Well, I ain’t loving nobody that doesn’t bring anything to the table.” It is this thinking that corrupts so many relationships. Not saying that anyone should carry 100% of the relationship, just suggesting that you love in the same fashion as God loves you.  He asked for nothing in return except we give our hearts to Him.  When we do this, we in turn will have no other choice but to extend ourselves to one another in an unconditional loving fashion.

If her looks fade and the grey hair begins to show around the outer edges, it won’t matter because the love that you feel for her is in your heart.  If he is no longer able to climb on the roof and do the yearly repairs, your love for him will not deteriorate. Your daughter is unable to contribute to the household funds because she has lost her executive position at a major 500 company, you will not turn your back on her, your love is not attached to material things. If you find yourself falling out of love, then maybe you didn’t really have that committed love in the first place.  Love establishes a solid foundation, and it is this foundation that holds your relationship in place when the levees of the world are crumbling down.

A few critical thoughts:
God does not make us prove our love to him. God’s love must be allowed to grow within you. Unconditional love is not determined by the one being loved but the one choosing to love!

Biblical Verse(s):
Romans 5:8 – but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
I John 4:10 – This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Corinthians 13:7 – It [love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Resources: The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick
Featured Bloggist: A Safe Relationship by Harry L. “Justin” Kirk

Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse—something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else.

Q: If you removed all the conditions that keep you bound in your relationships, what would that relationship look like?

Have a blessed day, I love you!



1. california - January 30, 2010

Looks like I need to park this Blue Sedan and catch up on my blogging… My favorite type of person is the one that remains open to the Possibliies of another or situation…SOMETIMES the very thing we need is standing right under our noses but because it looks, speaks and thinks differently than ur expectations it or they get placed under the, Not For Me catagory…you become so preoccupied with your checklist of conditions that u missed all the things you never knew you needed… you missed the breath of fresh air that tried to penetrate the closed room…the conversation that stimulates all of your senses, the quiet moment shared that you mistake as Nothing to talk about… so what if the person or situation does’nt fit the exact mold that you are used to…Maybe that’s the change we need…. when the person lacks in one area they may thrive in another…Hell, I may not be able to buy you that house right now, but ill sure as hell help you build it… I may not cook as often as you, but I will run your bath ask you about ur day and help provide for and take care of what we do have together…that job may not be the one your looking for, but it can do til you do find the right one…he may not bring in all of the bacon but is he good to you and for you, does he take care of and love his children and you unconditionally? We should all take a moment and see how we may be missing a blessing or let it slip by already…Eyes wide open everyone!!!! Including myself…. love and be loved>>>

2. hkirk - January 30, 2010

Thank you Dawn for the blog article and the feature link. This is a wonderful journey that you have begun. May much love surround you always.
One of the difficult things that people of any age encounter, is getting away from the idea that “everything is about me.” I think we are born that way. We are born and all we know is our own needs, our own lacking and our own wants. We get disappointed that the world does not deliver what we want, when we want it, in the way we want it. Wisdom comes from realizing that we control precious little.
By paying attention to others and truly understanding and appreciating them, they are more likely to interact positively with us. If I show that I understand, or at least that I am trying to understand, I build a bridge to the person I am interacting with. It lets them know that they are valued. Agape love values everyone. It does not automatically condone actions, or overlook wrongdoings, but strives to appreciate the core of the person; to understand their motivation. that allows us to accept them or even guide them if necessary.
I expect people to be imperfect, just as I am imperfect. I know there will be times people will let me down, because I have made those mistakes myself. I have forgiven myself and that allows me to love them.
Agape love can be practiced by anyone, and should. It is about giving of yourself because of your love for someone else. You might be amazed at what you may receive in return, and even that may require patience, which is another quality of love.

3. Ressie - January 31, 2010

Dawn..I cant tell you how proud I am of you..you have an extraordinary talent that God has blessed you with and this form of communication allows you to expound upon your life experiences and what you have learned from them and by sharing of ourselves, we can and are a blessing to others. Thank you.

4. poetiscian - February 2, 2010

@California: How right you are on so many levels. In particular ur thoughts on that person/thing that is good for us being right under our noses. I too am guilty of overlooking the very thing that I asked God for – all b/c it didn’t appear to fit the description that I had given Him. I am learning to stand still and smell the roses, be more attentive to the smaller things that surround me and most importantly to love unconditional. Just b/c one does act as I do, does not make them any different than I am – they just have their own style and form of expression! I too am parked and reflecting. Thanks for being a part of my life!

@Kirk: A Twitter being – OMG! It is me who is delighted that you dropped by to share your words of both wisdom and encouragement. Without bridges how would we get to the other side? Relationships are just that – bridges in one another’s lives. I’ve found that in my short life time, I have burned some bridges down. Through daring to love, I am discovering that even a bridge burned has the potential to be re-built. May be not the all of the exact same wood nor in the same exact location, but a new bridge with some of the scraps of the previous bridge. Thank you for this relationship, and please continue to journey with me!

@Ressie: What words can ever really express our connection, our relationship. As you know, my life is an open-book with fractured pages. I am learning from you and others as we journal – stay with me. Continue to share your experiences so as to bless those around you. You are my spirit…

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