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Day Eight – Love isn’t Jealous January 27, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Jealousy, love.
Tags: , ,

Sing with me…

Oh, I don’t wanna share you with
nothing else–I gotta have you to myself
Oh–I can’t help it–I’m so in love–
I just can’t get you close enough, no

When the sun’s on your skin–
I can’t hold it in

And I know it’s a sin–
but I’m jealous of the sun

As I sway back and forth to this Shania Twain song, “I’m Jealous” and attempt to recite these lyrics (see I am vocally challenged), I think about situations where many of us find ourselves in, due to our jealous nature.  I must confess that in those moments, I really don’t realize that I am acting out of jealousy.  Maybe because the behavior has just become so second nature. I’m not speaking about acts of jealousy that are sparked due to someone attempting to steal or covet our partner’s heart.  It is fair to say that you have a justifiable right to be angry if someone is seeking the attention of your better half.  This is the same type of jealousy that is experienced by God when we as His children do not recognize Him as our first priority.  For He is a jealous God who loves us deeply.  No, this is not the type of jealousy that I am referencing.

I am speaking of what the book illustrates as an envious type of jealousy.  The feelings that are expressed when a co-worker is promoted ahead of you.  Instead of being happy for them, for they deserved it just as much as you did – you’re a little sore about it and may even complain of the “non-evidence” unfairness of the promotion.  Jealousy erupts when we believe that we have been upstaged in some sort of way and that only leads to selfish behaviors.  It is quite easy to get caught up in acts of jealousy if we loose sight of what is really important in our lives.  Being envious of others when we don’t get what we want sets up poison within our relationships.  We plot, plan and devise schemes to get back at the people who we feel have wronged us.  This most certainly in not love, for love teaches humility and is born in the heart.  If we are not very, very careful, jealousy can lead to serious actions that have long-lasting repercussions such as murder (the death of Cain), abandonment (Joseph being sold away by his brothers), and death (crucifixion of Jesus).

We should never be jealous of anyone, and especially those who we hold near and dear in our relationships.  When they are successful, we are to lift them up and join in their celebration.  It is wise to realize that jealous acts in our relationships are like poisonous vipers!

A few critical thoughts:
Become your spouses biggest cheerleader.  Love puts others first.  Love completes not competes.  Jealousy of others is rooted in selfishness.

Biblical Verse(s):
Song of Solomon 8:6 – Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame.
James 3:16 – For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.
Proverbs 27:4 – Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?

Resources: The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick
Online Resources: How to Overcome Jealousy in a Relationship by Ron Zvagelsky

Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy.

Q: Is it hard not to be jealous of those who are doing so much better than you?

Have a blessed day, I love you!




1. Cat - January 27, 2010

Oh how happy I am that you are creating this whole blog thing. But to submit an answer to your question. I do not believe that it is difficult not to be jealous of those who are, seemingly, doing so much better than you. All a person can do is pray that, that person(or persons)will remain happy. Hopefully we will grow spirituality as well as our maturity. As we grow our spirit demands to be feed the Breathe Of Life. If our mates spirit doesn’t coincide we have to be mature enough to be patience. Love will help a person to acquire patience. The desire to want the relationship to work, is that kinda love that God has for His children. Everyone involved has to have that desire for a relationship in love to work. Those who are doing well in a relationship must prepared for the challenges of a relationship and life. For that reason alone, one should not be jealous or even envious. One day at a time. Just pray that they stay together in happiness and not in drama filled epics of depression and abuse.

poetiscian - January 27, 2010

Growing spiritually is so important in all of our relationships. You hit it right on the mark Cat. Holding God close is also another key point. When we learn not to be jealous of the good deed or fortune of others then we are truly exhibiting love.

Thanks for helping us to remember.

2. Dawn smith - January 27, 2010

Mom I believe that jealousy is the root of all evil. I have a lot of jealous tendencies like i love my friends a lot but in the back of my mind i tend to be jealous of the fact that they have one or no children and can do what they want when they want…and i cant cuz i have three. But sometimes I feel as though maybe they are jealous of me because I live on my own, I’m in a relationship, and i have three kids that love me. So when they call a lot of times i let the phone go straight to voicemail…am I wrong for not wanting to be bothered, or am i just jealous and that’s the reason I don’t wanna hang out……. Anywho jealousy is the devil telling us “they are better than you.” When truth is if you are jealous of someone maybe its yourself you’re mad at for not accomplishing what they have….

3. Darentiz - January 27, 2010

It’s not difficult to celebrate anothers’ accmplishments. I am first to celebrate another’s success and the first to let my friends know when they are being a hater. There is room for everyone to live their dream. The problem is people want what there’re not willing to work for. Whatever we want; whether it a better job, the perfect mate, disciplined children and bigger home, we have to do the work. Rejoice with others and they may rejoice with you.

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