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Day Six – Love is not Irritable January 25, 2010

Posted by poetiscian in Irritability, love.
Tags: , , ,

Oh how many times within a given day has just about everyone within your inner space just really pissed you off?  You’re already experiencing a bad day, and nobody is doing anything right.  It seems that you are carrying the burdens of the world, and nobody, and I do mean nobody understands just how much you do for everybody.  You are clearly frustrated, but just don’t know how to bring your mannerisms down a few notches.  You are walking around with the chip of irritation on your shoulder.

Stop, breathe, consult God and then re-focus.  It is important to remember that love is slow to show anger and quick to forgive.  When we are upset, expressing our emotions in a negative capacity will not help the situation.  You must exercise self-control all of the time and at all cost.  Flying off the handle because your partner has not lived up to your expectations isn’t showing love.  Neither is over reacting to minor problems just because you are on edge the way to show love.

Examine why you are irritable and you will find there is an explanation at the root of the problem(s).  First, there is stress.  Stress weighs you down and causes you to act in irrational ways.  It is tandem with bitterness.  Bitterness towards the ones you love may also cause you to be irritable.  And lastly, over extending yourself and taking on more responsibility than you can handle.  This is a sure cause for one to be irritable.  Within our relationships it is wise to figure out exactly why we are irritable with those whom we profess to love so much.  We can’t continue to justify our behavior by blaming others for the way we constantly react to situations.

Take some time today and just allow yourself to rest from all the pressures and stresses of the day.  Don’t be so quick to take your anger out on your mate, they should not be the punching bag for your emotions.  Be grateful for the companionship that you have, for the friends that surround you with love and the people who just smile at you for no reason at all.  Love teaches us to prioritize things in our lives, so that we are able to live fulfilling lives.  Simply, love responds to irritable situations with kindness and patience.  I realize that it can be very hard to forgive those who seem to have wronged us; however, that is only pride speaking and not love.  Stand up to irritable situations and people by demonstrating love.  The Higher Spirit is constantly loving us no matter what we do, so we must constantly love those around us – CONSTANTLY!

A few critical thoughts:
Bible teaches to let love guide.  Lust means being ungrateful for what you have.  Love calms you down.  Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Loving people exercise self-control.

Biblical Verse(s):
Proverbs 16:32 – He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
Matthew 12:24 – So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man.

Resources: The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick
Online References: Activating Energy by Beki Rosenthal

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Q: Do you over-react to situations?  You know – make a mountain out of a molehill?  Share some of your experiences so that we can become better life partners.

Have a blessed day, I love you!



1. Darentiz - January 25, 2010

I can get irritable very quickly for any reason. Today I went by my mom’s and she asked me to look at her TV. She said her picture wasn’t right and she didn’t know what was wrong. Then she said it was working right when it was downstairs and she thinks the cable wire was loose. On her next breathe she said she wasn’t sure if it was working. Then finally she said ” maybe I just need to reprogram the cable
channels”. Man, was I about to explode. Now when I stopped by I was in a rush and while she was speaking, I could feel my chest raising up and my back straignten. For a second I swear I couldn’t see. I was super irritated!!! And just as I was about to lash out something touched me??? At that moment I looked in my mother’s eyes. What I saw made my heart weak. I saw a women who raised her children, outlived two husbands and was alone. That few minutes I spent with her were important to her. She needed our human exchange and I realized I needed her to be okay. Why? Because I love her and no matter how crazy she makes me or how strained our relationship has been in the pass, I love her. Just as quickly as my irritation began, it left and I couldn’t have been more pleased. Love is not irritable and I must remember that goes for all the people I love. It is easy to forget that we must be patience, kind, thoughtful and non judgemental in all our relationships. Unconditional love isn’t just for our spouse but also for our family and friends!!! Today I got that and I had a nice visit with my mother.

poetiscian - January 25, 2010

You know I am smiling – right? Again, on the mark. I too spent the day with my mom, we went to the store, had lunch and ended up at the movies. Our relationship has been rocky since my inception. She will be 60 this year and I swear sometimes my patience level is at 0, but like you said, I see a woman who too has raised me and my daughters to an extent. There every time we call, trying to be the mother and grandmother all at one time. So, today, I practiced not being irritable and spoke slower and listened more intently to her request. Relationships do expand beyond the bedroom, and yes all should be cherished equally.

Thanks for sharing Dee!

Ressie - January 31, 2010

I started crying when I read Darentiz reply because it hits home with me as well. I love my Mom and we have a good relationship, but as she’s gotten older, she Requires a lot of attention that I just irrates me but this helps me to stop and remember that Love is not irratable…thanks Dawn for bringing me back to where I should be.

2. Stephanie B - January 25, 2010

I have a co-worker that complains every day about the job and the supervisor she is so unhappy in her personal life that she brings it to work she lost her husband about 8 months ago I think she has not mourned the lost of him yet, I practice patience b/c I just want her to shutt the Heck up and and quit complaining and change the situation.

poetiscian - January 25, 2010

You are practicing patience and compassion Mrs. Stephanie, both attributes of love. Hey try this – share our journey of daring to love with her. Maybe she is just lost in her own suffering and pain. Losing someone you love is hard and the heart know no good time to just stop hurting. Help her Stephanie, don’t be irritated with her. Through your actions may she become aware of the awesome healing power of our God.

Thanks for sharing Sweetness and keep reading and blogging.

3. california - January 26, 2010

Over the past 3yrs I have been asked the question, Why are you single quite often…perhaps the people asking are looking for the surface answer of, I just hav’nt met the right person….the inner depth of that answer is this…The right person I had yet to meet was Myself….it took me just about three years to reach the point in my life that I knew would be healthy for me to Present to God first and the world second. The person that would not allow myself to remain in a relationship I was no longer happy in…i had yet to meet the me that was not willing to sarifice my own serenity….I had yet to meet the me that could be alone with Me….All i knew was the Person that lived in that undecorated room of complaints and unhappiness with everything…..Today when i get asked that question,I still give the answer of, I hav’nt met the right person, and for the first time in my life, I’m not speaking of myself…..so to you i say this, the closer we get to truly knowing we the less we allow the dark moments to descend upon us and NO LONGER will we ALLOW others in our lives to bring or create dark clouds in our everyday Being…for those that are going thru break ups or getting to that point…Just know this, one of the best things you can do for you is to be Alone with You…If you are looking for a rebound… rebound with yourself and the rest will begin to heal as you grow into your own shoes…Sooooooo get out your paint brushes, open the windows and begin the redecoration of your life one blog at a time. Well back to work… It just so happens that I’m about to do a decorating and paint consultation for a woman that is embarking on the journey to She after a bitter divorce…I am honored that she chose me to share this change with over the next few months…Peace Sweet Souls>>>

poetiscian - January 26, 2010

Cali, thank you. Just today almost allowed a rain cloud to burst right in on my sunshine. I applaud you on appreciating the time spent dating yourself. It is important to recognize that being single does not mean being alone and surely a relationship does not guarantee the satisfaction of always having someone in your corner. I had to learn that the hard way.

Self exploration is often a long road which is best if traveled alone. One day at a time and always with God, and mind you sometimes I do stumble and become very irritated when people take my kindness for weakness. I lash out and love takes a back seat to my wrath, pray for me, pray for me, and then pray for me.

4. Victoria - January 26, 2010

Maybe you can answer this one I met a person last year I thought they were just wonderful we kinda devolped a instant frienship. They explained to me that they was going throught relationship break up make up problems. As a friend I could relate been their done that one. At this point we became talking friends we laugh we talk etc.Later as time moved on we stop talking about the past relationship and just enjoyed each other friendship I begin to find trust in our friendship cause we could talk about any and everything. One day while talking they asked my age I aleady knew if was a 12 year difference but that didn’t bother me I just enjoyed the friendship nothing more or less however they felt disapointed and compared me to a family member( I won’t say who) My feelings were hurt because I never thought friendship came in a age range. Maybe I’m wrong but I have friends a lot older than me and some younger than me. Guess I really never cared about the ages of my friends or should I? Now we are not talking and our frienship has ended due to the age range.In some case I thought age was just a number jsut hanging out having a good time……..

poetiscian - January 26, 2010

The age of a friend is different than the age of a girlfriend. May I share a similar story.

I assumed I was establishing a friendship with a person, shared personal information with them, invited them to my house and just hung out, as you noted.

Then was asked, “Would you date me?” and my response was somewhere in the realm of “No, you are almost as old as my mother!” And truly that was not said with any malice; however, I was a little shocked at the question as I thought the two of us were very clear on the issue of dating. Funny, I too am rebounding from a break-up (could I possibly be that friend – uhm). Here in lies where where truth confronts the lie. We often make up things in our own minds that we want to be true, when in reality that is our own truth.

Victoria, don’t be irritated at the person for speaking what was on their mind, don’t tear them down because of how they feel, and don’t make the situation worse by being untruthful.

Anyway, I apologized for my abruptness as I don’t intentionally want to hurt anyone’s feeling, especially someone whom I considered to be a friend. Love is patient, kind, self-less, and puts its best foot forward, I did not do that, instead I lost control over my tongue.

Sidebar: If your friends tell you to stay away from someone, then maybe you should take a closer look at your friends. Maybe they are possibly saying the same things about you to others. Choose your friends wisely, I will in the future.

Thanks for sharing…

5. Victoria - January 26, 2010

My friend and I had already made it very clear that we would not date but just be friends only and it was understood. We just enjoyed the friendship at least I thought we did until the age range came up. They say people come into your life for a reason and I will miss my friend.Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself. Thanks

poetiscian - January 26, 2010

Sounds like miscommunication. That certainly happens and it can be very frustrating and irritating. When communication breaks down in any relationship, neither party is listening objectively. If you really care about the person, then all is not lost. Give it time and then try again.

Take Care…

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